I am dealing with since I am new to weight watchers that my wife is not supportive in my attempt to get healthy. She is someone who can eat whatever she wants and never gains weight. She has the attitude that I can lose 30 lbs in a month. She thinks day to day you can see your stomach shrink and not realizing it takes time. I am not sure what to do get her to understand. Has anyone every deal with someone that is not understanding and how hard it can be to lose weight?
My mother was not supportive. She is not healthy and did not want me to be successful. In fact after 4 years of keeping 50 pounds off, she still tells me that I'm going to regain it because "everyone in the family does". She does everything she can to sabotage it.
Be strong, come to these boards often for support and know that you are doing this for yourself, not for her. Good luck
I think some of it depends on whether she is willing to be educated or not. Some people are just ignorant of anything related to weight loss and so have wrong assumptions. If they are willing to be educated then it can help. I would find some mainstream webpages that give facts and see if she would read them. If she is simply ignorant of the facts, then this can work.
On the other hand some people lack knowledge, but aren't willing to be educated. They have a fixed opinion and don't want to be confused with the facts. If that is the situation, then trying to educate may be counter-productive. In that situation, I would not look to her for your support and help.
I know a lot of very nice, intelligent people who like your wife have always eaten whatever they wanted, when ever they wanted and didn't gain weight, so they have no concept of fighting urges, battling metabolism, or sticking to something for life that is constantly a challenge. Over the years about half of them had a sudden change of heart when they suddenly began to pile on the pounds and had no idea what was happening or how to deal with it. I suggest you talk with her, show her the materials, and tip her off that 'someday' she may face this.
eriknels68 I'm sorry you are living with someone who does not support your weight loss goals. It does make the journey more difficult.But you have to do it for YOU and somehow find a way to either ignore or hope to educate her in some way. My own spouse loses weight easily and does not really understand why it's so difficult for me and how I must work so diligently to keep it off. He keeps chocolate and chips around and I have just had to become blind to seeing them (NOT easy).
Good luck. I hope you can find other sources of support to help you keep on track!
Imagine what you could do if you could do what you imagine.
My son was like that when he lived at home, he never did understand why I wanted to make meals healthier without his loaded oil and butter way! He gets it now that his GF is following it for free at work : -).. She just had a baby 8 months ago and has lost a lot of her baby weight. You can do this.. stay focused on the plan
I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It's tough when you don't feel like you're getting the support you need at home. I agree with the others that you have to try to educate, or else get your support elsewhere.
Erik, I'm sorry you're dealing with an unsupportive spouse, that must suck. I cannot imagine mine not supporting me in this WLJ, so when I read stories similar to yours, I'm always stymied as to WHY a spouse wouldn't want to support their partner in getting healthier. It makes no sense on the surface. So...some suggestions:
1. Would taking her with you to a WW meeting or to a MD visit - so that someone else can explain the basics of weight loss to her in a way that she might hear it - would that help? Or, do you have any friends or family that have lost weight and perhaps might have a word with her about how hard this can be?
2. Who does the bulk of the cooking in your household? If it's your spouse, then roll up your sleeves and start cooking for yourself. As someone said upthread, you have to do this for YOU, not for her or anyone else. And if that means you need to learn to cook your own meals, then start cooking! There is recipe section here, and some wonderful websites devoted to WW-friendly recipes that can help you know the points of what you're cooking. If you need to start preparing your own meals, don't overwhelm yourself, just find a couple of options for breakfast, lunch and dinner and rotate them for a bit until you're more comfortable adding in new ideas.
3. Consider some counseling sessions with your spouse. I say this because when I hear stories where the spouse wont support their partner in their WLJ, it screams to me that the non-compliant spouse has some issues of their own. Maybe she doesn't want you to get slimmer and in better shape because she has her own insecurities? I'm not saying that's the case with your wife, but there has to be a reason why she wont support you. I hope it's a more superficial reason - like she's just uninformed and ignorant of how hard it is to lose weight, but if you are open to a "tune up" in your relationship, perhaps some counseling sessions might help her to get on board with supporting you fully and happily.
"Everyone thinks of changing the world, but nobody thinks of changing himself." ~Tolstoy ~
I had to have a very pointed conversation with my DH. Some of the things we discussed were:
*My need to have him support me on an issue that I considered very important. A lack of support would make me question why I couldn't depend upon and trust him to have my best interests and desires at heart. *The fact that I was committed to eating this way for the rest of my life, not just a short period of dieting.(Going on 6 years now) *That he could eat whatever snacks he wanted, but I needed for him to store them out of my sight and not offer them to me, even if he was eating them in front of me. *If he cooked something that did not fit well with my plan, I would be eating a very small portion or something else, so he should consider halving the recipe. *We needed to plan the large meal of the day early so I could plan the rest of my meals accordingly. *I would need to see the recipes of anything he cooked, or know the ingredients so I could use the Recipe Builder. *Restaurant or fast food meals would need to be somewhere which enabled me to stay OP and spur of the moment was not doable. *Comments like "Are you sure you can have that?" were not welcome.
He very quickly complied and has been super-supportive of my efforts.
~Pam~ ***Aloft*** 1/27/13
If I give up now, I'll soon be back where I started and where I started was desperately wishing I could be where I am today.