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Post by surfgirl on Jun 30, 2020 18:50:44 GMT
bbbearsmom, cathygeha, lizlor, lani, irisinnia, surfgirl, luvvinlife, I am reading this morning and playing catch up to you all and in doing so wanted to reiterate what struck me about the Foreward from a past read. At the end Beck says that once you complete the 6-week review you will be able to lose weight. Period end of story. I wish she wasn't so concrete because we all know that it just doesn't happen 'like that' upon one reading. Some of us have done many readings and are still works in progress. It's not a light switch that is either on all the time or off. I always wish she'd make mention of that.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jun 30, 2020 19:08:42 GMT
surfgirl, Very good point. I'm sure in her mind the person who is doing the program did all the exercises and followed all of the directions, but as you know that isn't always true. We had someone on the old message boards come on and she had done the program in the book by herself. She took a long time to go through the book spending days, weeks, months on a "day" until she got it and then she moved on. From the beginning I had not so good vibes about her because even thought she meant well I know I don't take other people telling me how to do things. Anyway from the beginning we knew that one "day" a day was too fast but there is the problem of attention span. People don't stick to things and we figured the faster we did it the better the chance people would stay and find out the whole picture. Then, they could work on individual days on their own. Anyway there was another Beck Book Review on the old message boards and the moderator of that corresponded with Beck. I got the impression from something she said the Beck wrote she didn't care for the way I was going the reviews because I was so lax about it. I have to say I've never done most of the exercises, I was also not a good student in school and did not study deeply which is why I like the reviews. Through the reviews I've grasped most if not all of the ideas in Beck and they have of great benefit to me. But this has been over time and I'm still far from perfect but after all these years some things are a part of my makeup now. About the woman that came to the boards, she didn't stay around because she couldn't handle that some of us were struggling when if we would just do the program we wouldn't have a problem. Last I heard she was using Beck to try and quit smoking.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jun 30, 2020 19:13:25 GMT
surfgirl, Some people don't like Beck because she is so forceful and in a way orders you to do things. They don't like being talked to like that. Also I have a problem with "No Choice." I understand the concept fully, it came to me just after I overate at a lunch out in Manhattan. I realized you can't eat like I just did all of the time, No Choice. I usually talk myself into doing what I need to do, saying No Choice like that just doesn't work with me.
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irisinnia
Transcendent Member
233/211/160
Posts: 1,222 
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Post by irisinnia on Jun 30, 2020 20:36:37 GMT
surfgirl, I do agree with you that it is a process and we grow over time. However, you made me think... maybe some things in Beck that seem extreme like "No Choice" and even "Hunger is not an emergency" are there to break through some of our toughest sabotaging thoughts. I totally adhere to Hunger Tolerance and do it pretty much every review because this is a serious problem of mine. I can and do cave if I get hungry, but once I got this idea in my head that hunger was not an emergency and I could essentially "starve" myself until later, it freed me to stick to my plan. If I was dumb enough to go out without a snack packed, I could wait, or if I was really hungry and knew I didn't have a plan and couldn't make a good choice in the moment, then I knew I could wait and my hunger pains would ebb. Sometimes now I'll even tell my DH - who is a positive influence on my weight loss journey - "I'm so hungry I can't think of anything to eat, and if I go to the fridge I'm just going to eat some leftover cake, can you get me something healthy to eat." Learning to wait when I was hungry was something I probably couldn't have done without doing that "extreme" (at least to me) fast. I think it's the same with "No choice". On the one hand, saying something is "off limits" is just as appalling to me as starving yourself. However, keeping my favorite candy in the house that I simply can't stop eating is a terrible idea when I'm trying to lose weight. And to tell the story of this poor little boy not being able to eat certain things because of his health, makes it click in my head: This IS for my health! So when I say "No choice" to something, I'm making a statement to myself that this is critical to my well-being. I don't do it with everything, just when I really need it. So maybe it's more of a whole approach for all people? Like some people need a stricter approach? Just a thought.
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Post by cathygeha on Jul 1, 2020 5:44:52 GMT
surfgirl, I don't think any book can change your habits. It is perhaps a catalyst and way of looking at the situation differently then taking on board/trying some new ideas out and perhaps making new habits based on what was read, tried and worked. I am proof that if knowing how to do something was enough I would have been "cured" of fat in 1984.
bbbearsmom I agree that there are ideas in the book that are tough and perhaps they are a wake-up call to make people think. I am sure there are some people that can only function in a black and white world with rules...don't think we are those people. I like the flexibility of having anything I want and (perhaps) limiting it BUT I also know that I am much better off with some foods never entering the door.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 1, 2020 16:43:53 GMT
cathygeha, I've been good about banning sweets for me from the house since I started in 2006. I do have snack bars in the house which are essentially cookies but I'm good with them which makes me think staying away from sweets has changed me in some way. I guess the "no sweets in the house for me" is a "No Choice" that I do. I had to ban sweets because they call to me and I use to trigger and keep eating them.
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Post by surfgirl on Jul 1, 2020 19:45:52 GMT
surfgirl , I don't think any book can change your habits. It is perhaps a catalyst and way of looking at the situation differently then taking on board/trying some new ideas out and perhaps making new habits based on what was read, tried and worked. I am proof that if knowing how to do something was enough I would have been "cured" of fat in 1984.
I'm not sure what the second sentence is getting at, but the book has soooo much more information than one can ever put into these daily threads! So.Much.More. And yes, it is indeed a catalyst to looking at the situation differently because it goes so much deeper into each chapter and each exercise than we can do here. And new ideas and habits are discussed from case studies to bring them to life for the reader. So yes I agree, no book can change anyone, but if one is serious about the Beck method to weight loss then it is really important to read this book at some point. I know from experience that just following along is not the same thing at all as I followed along for a long time and when I finally got the book it was an eye opener! |
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 1, 2020 21:10:24 GMT
cathygeha, You can get the book on Kindle through Amazon. Can you get books from Kindle in Lebanon?
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Post by lani on Jul 1, 2020 22:21:32 GMT
The first time I did a Beck review was much like the first time I read Eckhart Tolle (one of Oprah's gurus). I wanted to nit pick and argue with everything I didn't agree with. In time I came to think that no person or method is perfectly perfect, and there were so many helpful tools that I could use. I could just discard the parts that didn't work for or speak to me. Why waste time focusing on what rubs one the wrong way, and instead find the news you can use?  I will say I did try all the exercises and techniques at least once to give myself a chance of experiencing something that might work even though I didn't want to initially do it. |
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Post by surfgirl on Jul 1, 2020 22:52:59 GMT
I will say I did try all the exercises and techniques at least once to give myself a chance of experiencing something that might work even though I didn't want to initially do it. I actually look forward to the fasting day because I'm always reminded how easy it is to not eat during the day! |
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 1, 2020 23:16:43 GMT
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Post by cathygeha on Jul 2, 2020 7:36:26 GMT
bbbearsmom, It is not sweets that call me although if I really crave them I can create something from sugar and peanut butter...that has NOT happened for awhile, though. I mentioned to surfgirl, that my daughter did not bring the book as I had requested...last time she visited. Amazon will not sell to me here in Lebanon...it does not accept sending to my internet service provider. When I change the address on the account it says I am not where I claim to be. I might ask my sister to buy it for our Nook before the next review.
surfgirl, I agree the book in its entirety would be a good thing to have to read and to refer to along with the reviews. I asked my daughter to bring it with her last time she visited but she was busy and didn't bring a few things I requested. Bookstores here do not have it and I cannot buy online (see what I said above) As for the second sentence... "I am proof that if knowing how to do something was enough I would have been "cured" of fat in 1984." I meant that I have the skills in my brain but implementing them 24/7 did not happen after I reached goal in 1984 or again when I reached goal in 1998/9.
The reviews always help me...remind me...I learn and am reminded of ideas, concepts, skills and techniques I have used before. One day I will have the book. I am sure that if I had been to the USA in the past 7 years I would have it already.
Thank you for the review and the insightful comments every time we do this!
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I will say I did try all the exercises and techniques at least once to give myself a chance of experiencing something that might work even though I didn't want to initially do it.