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Post by bbbearsmom on Nov 23, 2020 0:26:51 GMT
Monday, 11/23
Day 23 – Counter the Unfairness Syndrome
Beck points out that life is unfair, dieting is unfair and some people use the unfairness they see in the situation to sabotage themselves by not doing what they need to do. She suggests that you admit that some situations are unfair or seem to be unfair and then use “Oh, well” and move on. She points out that there are worse unfair situations out there than us not being able to eat all the cookies we want and lose weight.
She guides us in putting our ideas of things being unfair into perspective.
First step is “Remind yourself why you decided to diet in the first place.” (Advantages Response Card) When you decided to diet the disadvantages of not dieting were stronger than the advantages to not dieting.
Second “Make a mental list of the advantages in your life.” Now compare your advantages to how other people live all over this country and the world.
Third “Create a Response Card.” If you have problems with feeling dieting is unfair make up a card and talk back to yourself with a helpful response remembering that the greatest unfairness in this is not making your goal or not maintaining your goal weight.
Do you have any feelings of unfairness about this process? If you do how do you handle them?
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Post by bbbearsmom on Nov 23, 2020 0:27:14 GMT
I don't feel me having to work to lose weight and then work to maintain my goal weight is unfair. It is the way it is. I know why I have a weight problem: I taught myself to overeat and then I kept overeating. There was nothing unfair about me being obese. As for the process that is how the laws of the physical world works.
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Post by cathygeha on Nov 23, 2020 8:23:18 GMT
Do you have any feelings of unfairness about this process? If you do how do you handle them?
No...no feelings of unfairness. I used to wish I had tall skinny genes instead of plumper ones BUT when I weigh my life against others I am thankful for weight issues instead of some that others face. I have so much in my life that is positive it is hard to consider weight an "unfairness" but instead a factor to deal with that has lingered a long time.
When I think about what others contend with and face and have to overcome...weight seems a small burden to carry in comparison to others.
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Post by luvvinlife on Nov 23, 2020 15:38:39 GMT
I have no feelings about unfairness when it comes to my weight. If the scale wouldn’t respond to my consistent efforts it would be a different story. There’s nothing unfair about being able to be in control.
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Post by surfgirl on Nov 23, 2020 18:17:17 GMT
Not really. I think people who are battling diseases or chronic illness are entitled to say that is unfair. Me overeating is my fault, I did that to myself and I have to take responsibility for it. So there's nothing fair or unfair about it.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Nov 23, 2020 20:24:44 GMT
I get winter depression (Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)) each year and sometimes over the course of the fall/winter and/or in the spring I will feel the situation is unfair. One year I remember telling the psychiatrist that I was bitter about having to go through what I go through. I especially feel that way if it has been a rough winter for me. Last year the weather was nice and that helped a lot.
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Post by MarieL on Nov 23, 2020 20:40:20 GMT
I don't think it is "unfair" - I certainly remember many years ago when the realization hit me. I realized other people could open a bag of cookies or a box of candy enjoy a piece or two and even forget it. That was not me.
Much like the alcoholic who has a physical craving for alcohol I realized I do for sugar. If I did not have that it would be simple to say okay I am going to lose the weight, lose it and keep it off.
So, I had to accept this as my being "different" certainly not my fault - could speak of many reasons I might be this way but that isn't getting me very far. The worse possible thing for me would be to say "it is my fault" - no it is much more helpful for me to say I have a "condition" that does not handle sugar and some carbs like others do. Now what am I willing to do about that?
Marie
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ladymajky
Transcendent Member
220/169/150
Posts: 871 
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Post by ladymajky on Nov 23, 2020 21:41:33 GMT
This is really kind of a whiny, wimpy, bratty complaint. It is worthy of a seven-year-old. "It's unfair that I can't eat what I want" should be followed by a foot-stamp, hair-toss, and retreat to a bedroom, punctuated by a door-slam.
We are blessed to have access to the kinds of foods that made us fat, and we are blessed to have access to healthy foods. We have choices. Thank you, God, for many blessings.
TRIGGER ➡ THOUGHT ➡ DECISION ➡ ACTION
* “Unfair that I can’t eat what I want” is a Sabotaging THOUGHT
~ It leads to a bad DECISION and a bad ACTION
Interrupt the Chain
* Replace “Unfair that I can’t eat what I want” with a Helpful THOUGHT
~ It is UNFAIR that I have access to enough healthy food when others don’t
~ It is UNFAIR that I have good health when so many are very sick or in the ICU with COVID
~ It is UNFAIR that I have a good home when others sleep on the street
~ It is UNFAIR that I have a secure life
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Post by lani on Nov 23, 2020 23:39:45 GMT
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Post by mac on Nov 24, 2020 1:30:49 GMT
I've never felt that my weight loss journey has been unfair, well put ladymajky!!!
Monday - day 20 of no sugar!👋
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lizlor
Transcendent Member
Posts: 1,157
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Post by lizlor on Nov 24, 2020 6:02:10 GMT
I agree with everyone that this one is a little off base. Having too much to eat and drink is not unfair as much of the world doesn’t know where their next meal is coming from. Being overweight is literally a first world problem.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Nov 24, 2020 17:34:16 GMT
mac, Congrats on the 20 days of no sugar.
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