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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 22, 2021 23:21:43 GMT
Day 23 – Counter the Unfairness Syndrome
Beck points out that life is unfair, dieting is unfair and some people use the unfairness they see in the situation to sabotage themselves by not doing what they need to do. She suggests that you admit that some situations are unfair or seem to be unfair and then use “Oh, well” and move on. She points out that there are worse unfair situations out there than us not being able to eat all the cookies we want and lose weight.
She guides us in putting our ideas of things being unfair into perspective.
First step is “Remind yourself why you decided to diet in the first place.” (Advantages Response Card) When you decided to diet the disadvantages of not dieting were stronger than the advantages to not dieting.
Second “Make a mental list of the advantages in your life.” Now compare your advantages to how other people live all over this country and the world.
Third “Create a Response Card.” If you have problems with feeling dieting is unfair make up a card and talk back to yourself with a helpful response remembering that the greatest unfairness in this is not making your goal or not maintaining your goal weight.
Do you have any feelings of unfairness about this process? If you do how do you handle them?
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 22, 2021 23:24:15 GMT
"When you decided to diet the disadvantages of not dieting were stronger than the advantages to not dieting." This is a good thing to remember. I remember how much I don't want health problems.
I don't think me having to do this is unfair. I taught myself to overeat and that is why I gained weight.
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Post by mac on Jul 23, 2021 0:52:53 GMT
Do you have any feelings of unfairness about this process? * I don't have any feelings that this weight issue I have is unfair, it is what it is and I address it the best I can.
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Post by cathygeha on Jul 23, 2021 10:54:16 GMT
Do you have any feelings of unfairness about this process?
Not really
If you do how do you handle them? Sure, it would be nice to eat anything any time without gaining an ounce...hot fudge sundaes, big gooey cheeseburgers, pizza, and the list goes on BUT it is what it is and it is not in the cards for me to eat whatever whenever and be the weight I should be...and be healthy. I have also found that I feel better when I eat healthy food, am at a lower weight, think positive, do what I CAN do, and am grateful.
I have talked to my sister about this in the past and told her that we all have "problems/issues" to deal with in life and if mine is "weight" then I am thankful for that instead of something else that (for me) would be more difficult to contend with.
I try to remain positive even when it is not easy. Rationing of electricity is increasing. It is now 8 hours out of 24 instead of just 4 and it very well may get worse. The country is a mess but...it is what it is. My go-to is to see what is working, what can be done to make the situation better or work as well as it possibly can...and keep plugging away. No way to grind coffee in the morning? Make Turkish or instant. If I know there won't be electricity to grind coffee in the morning then I will start grinding it the night before and use the French Press coffee maker. So far we have had water and enough electricity and the weather hasn't been horrendous BUT it could become so and then I will still look for the positive and ways to make the best of it. Remind me if I forget!
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 23, 2021 16:34:22 GMT
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Post by surfgirl on Jul 23, 2021 17:44:16 GMT
Nobody said life would be fair and the earlier one learns this life lesson the better of they'll be IMO. I've learned that over many years of working in developing countries and seeing how much of the world lives compared to me. Yesterday I was in the car twice running errands and both times the same ad came on the radio, it was for some cancer treatment and the commercial talked about making decisions on your treatment and not knowing all the options, etc. I thought in that moment, 'Jesus, now THAT is a decision I hope I never have to make' because I cannot imagine trying to weigh the options of treatments and knowing what making the wrong choice would mean. That situation is what 'unfair' really means to me. Why someone gets a disease like cancer vs. someone who does not - My aunt got a blood cancer and nobody in our family ever had this, it felt so unfair to lose her when she was only in her 60's. Not being able to pig out on my favorite foods hardly seems 'unfair' when put next to truly unfair things, does it?
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Post by MarieL on Jul 23, 2021 20:28:34 GMT
Excellent point Surfgirl...my immediate though (picture in my head) a hungry child with nothing for the parents to be able to give the child...now that is unfair.
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