|
Post by azcristi on Apr 21, 2017 15:43:17 GMT
Wow, that is SHOCKING that your friends would comment on your lunch to that extent. I thought your lunch sounded awesome and filling!
Some people just don't know when to shut up.
|
|
|
Post by azcristi on Apr 21, 2017 15:50:33 GMT
Lmao I am cracking up at the tagging thing, that is why you guys may have noticed me "editing" your posts before. I usually have gone in and changed it to beckyw2016 with the @ since that is her username that the tag works with, sorry I have been slacking LOL linda72 that was my first thought too! 🤣 Okay, I just clicked on borntexan's profile - I see her profile name is borntexan and her username is beckyw2016 (@beckyw2016 ) - I didn't know you can have 2 separate names. I would have NEVER figured that out.
|
|
|
Post by neen on Apr 21, 2017 15:52:08 GMT
That was very rude of your friends! I would love that salad! YUMMO! Just smile and say something along the lines of "it's ok, I enjoyed it and don't feel bad at all!" Do what makes you happy!
|
|
|
Post by pamthomas46 on Apr 21, 2017 16:13:31 GMT
Sending hugs and positive vibes. What great wisdom has been shared.
|
|
|
Post by hpeterson1951 on Apr 21, 2017 16:46:02 GMT
Pat- I am SO sorry you had to deal with that. I think many of us have been through it and know the pain. I was actually thinking that sounded like a wonderful salad and was trying to figure out what someone could possibly say. I forget how big an idiot some people can be.
As for using "Bless your heart" when your from the north, there are other lines just like that. In northwest PA we use a lot of "That's nice" and just drop it or "Oh, Thank you". A well placed "Oh, Thank you" can really shut people up.
I know how hard it is to end a relationship that is toxic. I've finally limited mine with my mother, but haven't stopped it. If you can't quit this all together maybe you can just limit it, and also make sure there is always someone around as a buffer. If not Dh, maybe another friend. I do that, I'm never alone with my mom anymore.
Thoughts and prayers for you
|
|
|
Post by diva49 on Apr 21, 2017 17:23:31 GMT
"I guess when it comes to healthy eating, we'll just have to agree to disagree."
BIG smile. Topic closed.
|
|
|
Post by sullicat1 on Apr 21, 2017 20:54:19 GMT
Sorry that happened to you Pat. I have nothing to add, it's all been said right here. It's about them not you. Don't let anyone undermine your awesome accomplishment.
|
|
|
Post by fullmahina on Apr 22, 2017 12:12:16 GMT
Today I got a chance to go out with some friends. First time in what seems like forever! We walked around a small historic/shopping village and had lunch. This is with a couple we see several times a year and have known for over 30 years. The Mr. is diabetic and watches his weight and moans and groans about what he can no longer eat. The Mrs. is at least 50 lbs overweight and watches everything the Mr. eats and won't let him eat anything he "shouldn't". When she is with us she doesn't touch bread, sweets, chips, etc and only nibbles at her food. Today they were super critical of me and almost brought me to tears! For lunch I had a huge spinach salad with 6 broiled shrimp, hard boiled egg, bacon, feta cheese, tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots. It was really good and I ate everything but some of the spinach and some bacon!! Both of them commented about how little I ate, how it was "rabbit" food, that I was starving myself, no wonder I don't feel well and have no energy. And that since I've changed the way I've eaten I'm probably not eating enough carbs and the "right" things. It was a long ride home... I really wanted to tell these Butt-inskies to buzz-off and go-to-hell but we've got a long history of friendship and would hate to see it gone. But this is abuse! I'm sad, angry, hurt and frustrated. Maybe she thinks that losing weight means starving and she's not willing to starve so that's her excuse not to do it (my husband's answer for her behavior). All I know is I worked hard to get here, learned new ways to be healthy, am fighting now to stay healthy and don't want negative Nellies raining on my parade. thanks for listening! I agree that it is way more about them than you. Since I'm not one for mincing words, I'd also say that they are jealous and mean-spirited. Longtime friends or no, they're being abusive towards you and it is up to you to put a stop to it. I understand the not-wanting-to-abandon-an-old-friendship thing but unless you put an end to what they're doing, they're going to continue doing it. I don't think they are well-meaning at all, btw. If it were me I would answer each "dig" with "this is what works for me, thank you" at least to start with. If it continues I would ask them to STOP---just STOP. Knowing me, I'd also ask them what joy they get out of making you feel bad. Consider the source---they are overweight, unhealthy, and clearly unhappy. And yes, jealous. True friends are happy for you and wish you success. No matter how long you've known these people, it might be time to realize that they are not really true friends and minimize (or eliminate) your contact with them.
|
|
pbnj
Transcendent Member
184.4--xxx--140
Posts: 1,361
|
Post by pbnj on Apr 22, 2017 12:25:13 GMT
Thank you all for your comments and support. My husband and I have had a long talk about this and he has agreed that we need to back off for awhile from these folks. He was not as aware of their comments and how cutting they were to me. They are unhappy in their current life situation as they are care-takers for her 93 year old mother (though she does not live with them). Perhaps this has made them speak this way (they haven't always been like this!)
|
|
|
Post by itsrad on Apr 22, 2017 14:23:25 GMT
pbnj, I'm glad to hear that your husband understands and is being supportive. People do change over the years. That change can be negative when life doesn't seem to be working out the way they wanted or expected. Also, as people get older, some seem to lose their filters. I really believe that we owe it to ourselves to surround ourselves with people who make us happy, keep us uplifted and add something good to our lives. It is just as important a piece of self-care as our diet and weight.
|
|
|
Post by linda72 on Apr 22, 2017 15:39:44 GMT
itsrad I so appreciate your posts. It validates what I've felt about a couple we've been friends with since 1982. I felt guilty about limiting contact with them but realize it's more important to take care of DH and myself. Your statements spoke to me. Thank you.
|
|
|
Post by linda72 on Apr 22, 2017 15:44:26 GMT
fullmahina I also appreciate your post as I have a couple we've been friends with for 35 years. Your statement: "Consider the source---they are overweight, unhealthy, and clearly unhappy. And yes, jealous." fits this couple exactly. I felt a lot of guilt by limiting contact with them but the posts here have validated my feelings. Thank you to all for your wisdom.
|
|