pbnj
Transcendent Member
184.4--xxx--140
Posts: 1,361
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Post by pbnj on Jan 13, 2017 3:34:48 GMT
lmenglish. Don't even get me started on ankles. I have official "cankles". I can't wear boots because of small feet and fat ankles. All my weight is below my waist...I'll never see 6 pants again!
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Post by doordie50 on Jan 13, 2017 15:09:36 GMT
Even at or near goal, I think my body image will always be skewed as if viewing myself in the fun-house mirror. It doesn't help that I'm only 5' tall
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Post by hpeterson1951 on Jan 13, 2017 16:49:16 GMT
I definitely have a problem seeing my new body. I look at clothes size Small and think I'll never fit in that. I can fit in a size XS sometimes.
I read that it takes a full year for every 20 pounds for your mind to adjust. I've lost 50 pounds about 4 years ago so I should be good now, but sometimes I just can't believe I'm that tiny
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Post by cj59 on Jan 13, 2017 17:24:56 GMT
Thank you so much for all the wonderful responses. It's really nice to know I'm not alone in how I feel. I've been overweight since I was a child and have lost and gained 100 pounds four times in my adult life, all of that really affects how your mind thinks about your body. This time I've lost well over 100 pounds and I refuse to gain it back. I have a lot of loose skin too, but at my age (late 50s) I don't really care about that. I'm not trying to impress anyone I realize now that it will take time for my mind to accept that I'm not heavy anymore, and get used to my new body. It's worth it though to have improved health and that was my main goal when I started this journey almost 2 years ago
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Post by newheavensearth2 on Jan 13, 2017 19:23:48 GMT
Yes, I still feel like I will never be satisfied with my body and will need to lose weight forever. I run, do other cardio, and lift heavy weights, but the loose skin is there and I know I will need surgery at some point. I don't want to do it, but I don't like looking like a Shar Pei in small clothes either. Most people see an average woman, I see folds of flab.😕
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Post by azcristi on Jan 13, 2017 21:52:46 GMT
I'm finding that now I've lost weight my mind doesn't always "see" what I see when I look in the mirror. Sometimes I still feel like I'm at my heavier weight. I guess it will take some time for my mind to catch up with my weight loss.
I was wondering if anyone else went through this. Yes, I sure did. I had weight loss surgery in January 2004 and lost 125 pounds. It took me about 2 years to STOP browsing in the plus size women's clothing department and catalogs.
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Kitty
Transcendent Member
Posts: 1,459
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Post by Kitty on Jan 14, 2017 1:31:22 GMT
Great topic and I have lots to say about it.
When I lost almost 65 pounds, I realized that in many ways I still tended to think of myself as being overweight. Yes, I knew I had lost weight and wore smaller sizes. I did see a big difference in appearance. And, yet, when I didn't think about it consciously I tended to still identify as an overweight person. I felt weird the first time I went into Dress Barn and bought in the regular sizes section. It felt like I was doing something I wasn't supposed to do. That kind of thing. I also thought that other people would see me as overweight and they didn't. That is kind of hard to explain. OK, here is an example. Last year I went to a new primary care doctor. He didn't say anything about weight. I was used to doctors making at least some comment about weight. If my weight was up, saying I needed to lose a few pounds. If my weight was down, asking me how I did it. But, just to have no comment made at all was different. I realized that the new doctor had never known me as overweight and so he didn't need to ask me why I lost weight and I was a normal weight so he didn't need to tell me to lose weight. It was an odd feeling.
At the same time that all of that was going on, however, I have to say that in some ways I actually didn't look as thin in the mirror as my actual weight reflected. That is, I had a lot of loose skin. Some of that was due to weight loss and some of that was from past pregnancy. My husband lost more weight than I did (he is also a WW LT member) and he ended up with no loose skin. I had a lot of loose skin (of course, my husband was never pregnant!).
It was discouraging that I lost so much weight and in the mirror I still looked overweight even though I was normal weight. I worked with a trainer for a year and I got stronger but it didn't help the loose skin. Losing more weight wasn't going to fix it either. In my case, I ended up having plastic surgery. I had a tummy tuck and breast lift in one procedure. And, then I separately had some facial surgery as well.
I can say that I am so, so glad that I did it. My clothes fit way better (next month is my 25th wedding anniversary...the other day I put on my wedding dress and it was a little loose). And, I feel so much better when I look in the mirror. I feel normal weight now and I didn't feel that way when I had all the loose skin. I know that isn't the decision that is right for everyone, but it worked out well for me.
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Post by newheavensearth2 on Jan 14, 2017 2:32:10 GMT
Great topic and I have lots to say about it. When I lost almost 65 pounds, I realized that in many ways I still tended to think of myself as being overweight. Yes, I knew I had lost weight and wore smaller sizes. I did see a big difference in appearance. And, yet, when I didn't think about it consciously I tended to still identify as an overweight person. I felt weird the first time I went into Dress Barn and bought in the regular sizes section. It felt like I was doing something I wasn't supposed to do. That kind of thing. I also thought that other people would see me as overweight and they didn't. That is kind of hard to explain. OK, here is an example. Last year I went to a new primary care doctor. He didn't say anything about weight. I was used to doctors making at least some comment about weight. If my weight was up, saying I needed to lose a few pounds. If my weight was down, asking me how I did it. But, just to have no comment made at all was different. I realized that the new doctor had never known me as overweight and so he didn't need to ask me why I lost weight and I was a normal weight so he didn't need to tell me to lose weight. It was an odd feeling. At the same time that all of that was going on, however, I have to say that in some ways I actually didn't look as thin in the mirror as my actual weight reflected. That is, I had a lot of loose skin. Some of that was due to weight loss and some of that was from past pregnancy. My husband lost more weight than I did (he is also a WW LT member) and he ended up with no loose skin. I had a lot of loose skin (of course, my husband was never pregnant!). It was discouraging that I lost so much weight and in the mirror I still looked overweight even though I was normal weight. I worked with a trainer for a year and I got stronger but it didn't help the loose skin. Losing more weight wasn't going to fix it either. In my case, I ended up having plastic surgery. I had a tummy tuck and breast lift in one procedure. And, then I separately had some facial surgery as well. I can say that I am so, so glad that I did it. My clothes fit way better (next month is my 25th wedding anniversary...the other day I put on my wedding dress and it was a little loose). And, I feel so much better when I look in the mirror. I feel normal weight now and I didn't feel that way when I had all the loose skin. I know that isn't the decision that is right for everyone, but it worked out well for me. Comments about my weight, either good or bad, make me uneasy and I'm still trying to deal with them graciously. I'm researching surgery. I know there's only so much exercise can do, and I know the weight loss phase will have to reach an end point. Then surgery comes in. My stomach has a huge fold at the navel area, a combination of loose skin and where my surgeon didn't sew my navel together properly after double hernia surgery. It looks like a giant cleft bunny lip. Thankfully I found a nice tankini last year, or else I'd be SOL for ever wearing a two piece. My triceps are looking better though, so that I can deal with.
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Kitty
Transcendent Member
Posts: 1,459
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Post by Kitty on Jan 14, 2017 7:48:41 GMT
I took a lot of time to research and think about it. I didn't have surgery until a full year after getting to my WW goal weight (top of my range). That way I felt that I had really thought about it and adjusted to the weight loss and knew I still wanted it.
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Post by thyme2 on Jan 14, 2017 16:37:21 GMT
I am always surprised about how hard it is to wrap my head around weight loss. My biggest issue is and has also been in the past realizing that clothes will actually fit me. I am always astounded when a "not plus size" fits.
I have thought a lot about the fact that when I was at my top weight that I could avoid really noticing my body. I would not really focus on how big I was. This time around I have made myself look at myself in the mirror and pay very close attention to the changes. It still doesn't change the clothes issue. The upside of that is that I am always pleasantly surprised when things fit.
I too do not like people focusing on my weight changes. Although it is nice to have someone notice the hard work I have done I still feel uncomfortable. I keep telling myself that people mean well when they say things and I am learning to say thank you.
Since I am still working toward goal it also complicates my thinking.
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Post by cj59 on Jan 14, 2017 21:21:05 GMT
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I'm another one that is uncomfortable when people mention my weight loss. Although it's wonderful to weigh less, I didn't lose the weight for vanity reasons, I lost it for my health.
But society judges us so much on how we look and it seems like there's always been an emphasis on weight loss equating to being successful. That alway bugged me in the past when I lost weight, because people were so excited to talk to me about it, but then when I would gain weight back, it seemed like I was judged as being a failure. It's really a lot to deal with mentally anytime we lose or gain weight.
I feel strange shopping in the normal clothes area too, after spending so much of my life wearing plus size clothing.
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Post by sullicat1 on Jan 14, 2017 21:54:02 GMT
The first time I lost a lot of weight (hate having to say that) I had to buy all new clothes. I always headed for the xtra large & plu sizes & couldn't figure out why nothing fit when I hit the dressing room. I just didn't see myself as a small person. One day I was in Macy's and a salesperson came over & asked if she could help me (to think there was a time when that was done). Anyway, told her I was looking for a straight white linen skirt. She found me one & told me to try it on. I looked st the size 4 & said it was exactly what I was looking for but now go get me the correct size. She said this is your size and I'm saying to her, no way. Needless to say, the skirt fit like a glove. So while I can always see that I,look better I never see the real me when I've lost weight. I always see a fat person in the mirror.
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Post by gailruu on Jan 14, 2017 21:57:55 GMT
I am a retired nurse. Frankly, everyone looks better with clothes on! I am at my goal weight and look pretty good when I am dressed, but as I got older I decided my wrinkled cleavage and arms do look better covered up.
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Post by JamesonsMommy on Jan 14, 2017 22:15:43 GMT
Once I got tiny, I definitely had more confidence- most days. Other days I had to seriously wonder if I had some sort of that body dysmorphic disorder thing going on- wearing size 4 jeans, drowning in a size small shirt feeling larger than I ever had been, 70 lb heavier. There's a lot of work to be done on the inside too, I didn't do so well with that. Now that I'm about 15 lb over where I sat very comfortably for a few years it's incredibly hard for me to feel 'good'. Body image issues SUCK!
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pbnj
Transcendent Member
184.4--xxx--140
Posts: 1,361
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Post by pbnj on Jan 15, 2017 0:31:59 GMT
It's nice to be noticed but... seems like there is no end to the discussion about how one LOOKS when you've lost weight (You look great, thinner, skinny, fantastic, smaller, tiny...) But it's how we FEEL about the change that often goes unaddressed and acknowledged.
My current pet peeve is my DH who insists I've 'lost enough', 'lost too much', 'am starving myself', 'not eating right'...GRRRRR!!!
I don't think I'm done losing (I'm holding steady at the top of my range and would like to lose 5-10 more). I SEE myself as F.A.T. even though I've lost several pants sizes and am in small tops once again---the ExtraSmall and even smaller pants still reside in some boxes in my closet...just waiting for me to be even "smaller, skinnier, tinier" once again...
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