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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 28, 2019 23:01:12 GMT
Monday, 07/29
Day 29
Resist Food Pushers
When we are out and about and around people and food sometimes it seems that people will push us to eat and drink when we might not want to do that. These people are called “food pushers.” (Note: Sometimes I am the food pusher to myself.) Today is about socializing and food. Beck makes two good comments about speaking up in food pushing situations:
“You’re entitled to work toward your goal of losing weight as long as you’re not maliciously trying to make someone feel bad.”
“It’s okay to disappoint others. Disappointment is a normal part of life. Their disappointment most likely will be mild and fleeting.”
She goes on to say that if you are assuming others will be disappointed if you turn down food, ask yourself:
“Won’t I be disappointed if I accept the food and stray from my food plan?”
“Why is it more important for me to please them than it is to do what is best for me?”
In the section “How to Say No” Beck wants you to:
Create a sense of entitlement about turning down requests to eat by listing the costs to yourself of eating/drinking when you don’t want to. If you are still worried about how someone would feel if you refuse ask yourself how you would feel if someone refused your offer of food/drink.
Prepare your initial response. Suggestions:
“No, thanks”
“No, thank you, it looks delicious but I’m fine”
“Thank you, it looks really good. Could I take a little piece home for later?”
Visualize you successfully turning down food/drink.
Do you have food pushers in your life? How do you handle them?
Do you have an internal food pusher that can say you have to eat/drink this or that in social situations?
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Post by bbbearsmom on Jul 28, 2019 23:05:12 GMT
My husband is a bit of a food pusher but it may be more like he brings up eating situations and it is up to me to make the decision. Other than that there are no food pushers in my life. As I said in the post I am my own food pusher. I'll come up with reasons why I should eat things, such as "My husband will be disappointed if I don't eat this," the classic need to clean my plate, and a general feeling that I should eat something in a social situation.
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irisinnia
Transcendent Member
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Posts: 1,222
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Post by irisinnia on Jul 29, 2019 4:18:00 GMT
One of the best ways I've found to deal with food pushers is to lie. "I just ate" makes people all say "Awww" but they completely understand and offer you nothing else! Now that internal food pusher... she's a rebel! So, if someone says "You shouldn't eat that (or that much, or whatever nonsense they want to preach at you)" then I'm like "I'll show you!" I'm not sure I'm ready to change that one. My pride would be wounded. But! I need to remind myself that I could just tell them "I can eat whatever I want" without having to show them. (Though, I'm so sassy sometimes, I just might have to)
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Post by cathygeha on Jul 29, 2019 5:19:57 GMT
Do you have food pushers in your life? How do you handle them? Sometimes.
* There is candy offered at home visited - take a piece and put it in my purse for later and hubby eats it * At meals - sometimes people will fill the plate automatically so I now leave a bit on the plate
Do you have an internal food pusher that can say you have to eat/drink this or that in social situations? * Yes...mostly related to Wednesdays. I now have become mostly vegetarian/vegan so don't take the animal protein...need to apply that to the chips, nuts, wine, dessert, etc! I think Wednesdays feed my soul and as I feed my soul I want to nourish/feed my body?
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Post by lani on Jul 29, 2019 15:26:14 GMT
DH is more of food tempter than a pusher. He is not even doing that lately since he got a personal trainer and is gung-ho with his eating and tracking for the moment. Go, Mr. Lani!
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Post by surfgirl on Jul 29, 2019 23:42:51 GMT
I don't really have a food pusher in my life right now so thats a good thing. My husband can be a food tempter like Mr. lani, but I can also tell him not to and he'll stop.
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Post by starchild68 on Jul 30, 2019 13:38:37 GMT
I don't have an external food pusher, usually. There is one person in my computer club that we see once a month (at his home) who DOES push food at everyone and it is always things like donuts, cookies, etc. If you say "no" politely, he will actually put a plate of food in front of you and keep urging you to enjoy it. Other than that, there are a couple of food tempters, but they are not pushy. My worst food pusher is myself and, as I've mentioned before, I create food pushing scenarios in my brain. The toughest thing right now is that we have 2 regular events each month which involve going to a diner or pub after an evening meeting, to socialize with other members. I need to have a plan ready to keep myself from habitually eating extra food at these events (as well as eating cookies/brownies at the break during the meetings). I COULD just order coffee and leave it at that. I do not need to eat what amounts to an extra meal just because "other people are eating....I should join in"
I do also have trouble saying no to food when I am the chef. That is, I sometimes don't feel hungry but I have to prepare food anyway because my sweetie wants to eat three full meals a day, no matter what we had at the previous meal. Once the food is there, in front of me, it is difficult not to partake.
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Post by surfgirl on Jul 30, 2019 17:05:17 GMT
starchild68 , could you bring an OP snack to your meetings to eat during the coffee breaks, and maybe delay your dinner so that you can order dinner at the diner/pub afterward? OR...order a salad or fruit place at the after meeting? OR...have those two evenings out be splurge evenings where you eat dinner later at the pub but you use WPs to cover the cost?
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Post by starchild68 on Aug 1, 2019 16:43:15 GMT
Thanks for your suggestions, surfgirl. I am going to try the "delay dinner" tactic at our August meeting. (It is the one meeting per year in which we have an ice cream social at the break. I choose not to pass that up but I can certainly plan ahead and have that be my main meal of the day!)
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Post by hpeterson1951 on Aug 6, 2019 20:54:04 GMT
I also have a food tempter for a hubby. He thinks a treat to go out or go get ice cream.
The main thing I have are more of "food talkers". The girls I work with are always talking about food. They are fine if I say "no", but the talk leads to temptation and craving. I'm working on recognizing cravings and hunger
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 6, 2019 23:56:41 GMT
hpeterson1951, Food talk can do me in. One time I went out for a late breakfast at a diner. We were in a booth by the bake goods display and all my friend did was talk about their giant cookies and whether or not she was going to get one to eat later. When I go home it happened to be the Christmas holidays and we had Christmas cookies from a neighbor. I dove right in.
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