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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 5, 2019 23:43:30 GMT
Tuesday, 08/06
Day 37 –Reduce Stress
This is another fun day about how to reduce stress and we all love to do that.
Step 1: Use the skills you learned from the book to solve the problems that are causing you to be stressed. (Although sometimes it takes a bit of digging to figure out the root cause of the stress.) Beck mentions using the priority chart in the book and the Seven Question Technique.
Step 2: Relax. Beck suggest learning muscle relaxation, deep breathing, and guided imagery meditation to relax your body and mind.
Step 3: Change you mindset. This is about the rules you have for yourself and others and learning to relax those rules. Identify the rules you have for yourself and others. Think about the words you use. For your “should” rules replace “should” with “it would be nice if.” Come to think of it that would also work with “have to” as in “I have to lose weight this week.” Beck suggests taking the words “always” and “never” out of your rules. Another thing is she suggest that you use the word “reasonable” when it comes to expectation. Also you need to look into how your rules can cause stress for you and others.
Realize you don’t control or have limited control over other people. You can only control and change yourself. Also with rules for other people use the word “realistic” as in if you think people should know what you want you need to realize that it is realistic that they can’t know that unless you tell them.
Do you have rules for yourself and others that cause you stress?
Have you learned to relax any of those rules?
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 5, 2019 23:51:30 GMT
I think I have all sorts of rules for myself and others. Over the years I have relaxed a lot of them. I think I'm getting old and tired and don't like the stress that comes with them. I have a friend that "it would be nice if" she lost weight for medical reasons. Every once in awhile I would have fits about it, sometimes even talk to her about it. Then I realized I better stop if I wanted to keep the friendship and I've become more accepting. It can be tiring getting into other people's lives. As for rules for me I've cut back on getting upset when I don't live up to them. I guess this is more me accepting that I'm not perfect.
In general I'm handling stress better and not getting as anxious as I have in the past. I do use muscle relaxation, deep breathing, and I'm working on the meditation.
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Post by cathygeha on Aug 6, 2019 5:10:32 GMT
Stress and worry are not a big part of my life. If there is a problem I usually retreat into a book, a craft or soak in the tub. My husband does enough worrying for me, himself and uncounted others!
Do you have rules for yourself and others that cause you stress?
No
Have you learned to relax any of those rules?
In the past I had "religious rules" that are gone since I am not in the rigid religion of my youth and early adulthood. I think the only rules I now follow are those of the land...don't want to get a ticket or end up in jail  |
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Post by lani on Aug 6, 2019 14:43:31 GMT
I tend to anxiety as does DH so it gets a little tricky around here. We have both been mediating for years. I try to use CBT methods to manage stress/anxiety. DH has seen a CBT therapist and it has really helped him.
I don't think of these as rules per se, but I know I have the fear of appearing stupid (who cares besides me?) and wrong. I suppose it all stems from childhood. Still dealing with it at 65. Oh well.
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Post by decolady on Aug 6, 2019 18:38:13 GMT
Hello everyone
Stress and anxiety are the root of most my health and weight issues.
I have what they call anticipatory general anxiety. Meaning I worry a lot about what might happen. Working
on “ living in the moment “. Being prepared and organized helps. I have trouble with traveling. We are taking a huge trip to the British isles, London and Paris and I have stressed about it. But going anyway because when I get there will be ok because sidetrack with enjoying the sites. I refuse to let this control my life. So I use CBT a lot.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 6, 2019 19:38:05 GMT
decolady, Have a great trip and I admire you for going despite your anxiety.
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Post by surfgirl on Aug 6, 2019 23:47:10 GMT
I can get stressed out quite easily so this is something I'm always working on. As lani knows, I'm still trying to incorporate daily meditation into my routine but I've lapsed a bit...I have found that I'm much less stressed when I'm not consulting, and I realized that today so that was an eye opener...I basically need to work on brushing shit off my shoulders and not feeling like it's all on me. Example: If my husband doesn't want to work out at the gym twice a week as his doctor suggests (in addition to cycling on weekends), it's not on me to try to entice him to do so. I can't do that for him. I can only control my own life actions so that's what I'm working on. For me, less stress = easier to stay OP. |
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irisinnia
Transcendent Member
233/211/160
Posts: 1,222 
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Post by irisinnia on Aug 7, 2019 2:51:15 GMT
Stressing about myself and other people? That's a whole ball of wax that isn't going to be solved without years of extensive therapy. It's basically my personality.
What I am doing is ramping up my productivity, which keeps me from mindless snacking, and gives me a better sense of 'control' even if that means letting it go. Like hey, I've been working all day and I still haven't gotten to X, it's not happening.
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Post by starchild68 on Aug 7, 2019 13:35:05 GMT
I guess I've tended to be stressed out most of my life but I am less stressed In general now that I'm retired from my stressful job. I enjoy my walks and hikes and now I have more time available for these activities and other things I enjoy. The source of my stress is mostly from perfectionism and comparing myself to others...hearing some of those "should" phrases in my head. Working on that. Sometimes the simplest tactics work, like taking a few deep breaths when driving in crazy traffic or telling myself "today I will not judge."
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 7, 2019 16:34:53 GMT
starchild68, One of the self-help books I read over the years mentioned not judging. They mentioned going a day and not judging on anything that crosses your path. They mentioned watching the news as an example. I judge a lot. I yell at the TV when there are ads by restaurants and all they are showing is unhealthy food. As I've aged and gotten tired I do judge less and been able to let things go. I also compare myself to others and usually feel bad about it. It is a habit I need to break.
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