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Post by bbbearsmom on Oct 27, 2019 23:03:59 GMT
Monday, 10/28
BBR Chapter 1
The Key to Success
My favorite part of chapter 1 is the idea Beck does not use the words cheat/cheating in this book because she thinks that using those words while dieting can demoralize you and keep you from getting back on track. Instead she uses “unplanned eating” or “overeating.” And she wants us to take this view: Okay, so I ate something I didn’t plan to eat or I ate more than I was supposed to. It was just a mistake, no big deal…I’ll get back on track for the rest of the day.
At the beginning of the chapter Beck again reminds us that our lack of success with dieting is because we don’t know how to do it. She says she will teach you how to do it successfully and for life. You will learn how to avoid cheating, how to resist temptations, how to cope with hunger, cravings, stress, and strong negative emotions without comforting yourself with food, and how to motivate yourself to exercise. All this will happen when you change the way you think.
She maintains that she will teach you to think like a thin person and assist you get rid of your mindset of sabotaging thoughts that keep you from success. This is psychological program that will get you to eat what you are supposed to eat by choosing appropriate foods and eating behaviors by changing your thinking permanently.
Beck mentions that Arron Beck is her father and that he started cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) working with depressed patients. He worked with them to set up goals, solve problems, and change their thinking. This led to their depression abating.
Your thinking affects how you feel and what you do. CBT helps you to identify your sabotaging thoughts and learn how to effectively respond to them. It also helps you to solve the problems you run into while dieting such as tempting food or feeling stressed.
Beck mentions the following steps for success:
Create a nutritious diet
Create time and energy for dieting
Plan what and when you’re going to eat
Seek support
Deal with disappointment
View overeating as a temporary problem you can solve
Cope with hunger and cravings
Eliminate emotional eating
Give yourself credit
What part of the program are you interested in learning?
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Post by bbbearsmom on Oct 27, 2019 23:04:32 GMT
Again, I'm looking forward to building my skills in handling my sabotaging thoughts. On the list viewing overeating as a temporary problem is something I need to improve on. I sometimes think that the behavior will be forever and it takes awhile for me to get my act together to deal with it.
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irisinnia
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Post by irisinnia on Oct 28, 2019 2:24:55 GMT
I'm most interested in the planning what and when I'm going to eat. I feel like I can stick to the plan, if there is a plan. So I need to put in the leg work at the beginning here, to see what tweaks I can make to my normal eating to make a new normal.
I was listening to the audiobook while doing dishes and one thing she said jumped out at me this time, so I thought I'd paraphrase:
If you find situations that cause you to eat in unhelpful ways, you can limit your exposure to it or change your response to it.
I really liked that one because a lot of dieting feels like "eliminating" but I can either limit or change my response. And I'm feeling like maybe I can be successful at weight loss and live in a world where Halloween has candy and birthdays have cake.
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Post by surfgirl on Oct 28, 2019 19:26:44 GMT
you can limit your exposure to it or change your response to it. This is such a great comment, and why reading the book is sooooo important! There are so many gems in Beck's book that we don't have time to touch upon here, and this is a big one. I remember my therapist asking me, as I was working through my PTSD, "do you want to stop traveling without your husband, or do you want to learn how to travel without him? Neither is a wrong answer, it's what you're comfortable with!" This is the exact same thing for weight loss and maintenance! You can limit exposure - and there is nothing wrong with that if that is what works for you. Or you can learn to navigate those situations with new attitudes that in turn fuel new behaviors. I sort of view CORE or SIMPLY FILLING in this light. If you want to learn how to navigate the world being able to eat OP but also make allowances for splurges that you enjoy, then you need to learn how to do a points-based program (IMO). If that's not for you and you just want to lose weight without having to think about it that much, then CORE or SIMPLY FILLING are for you because it's a more expedient option where you can still overeat but you're eating low points foods. To me, the latter does not teach one how to change a behavior per se, it feels more like encouraging overeating, except that one is overeating low fat, low cal foods. I think the changing how one responds to situations is the path of lasting change, and that's why it feels more difficult at times. You're trying on new attitudes and behaviors and testing them out, seeing how they feel, until you find out how to make them fit you. Sorry for the off roading there, but that quote from irisinnia is a doozy, in a good way!
Create a nutritious diet - DONE.
Create time and energy for dieting - DONE.
Plan what and when you’re going to eat - DONE.
Seek support - DOING.
Deal with disappointment - DOING.
View overeating as a temporary problem you can solve - WORK IN PROGRESS...
Cope with hunger and cravings - WORK IN PROGRESS...
Eliminate emotional eating - WORK IN PROGRESS...
Give yourself credit - NEED TO DO MORE!
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Post by bbbearsmom on Oct 28, 2019 19:56:29 GMT
surfgirl, irisinnia, Reading your posts I realized keeping sweets out of my house is limiting my exposure, while I'm also working on my reaction to sweets using Beck. One thing I use is remembering I know what a cupcake tastes like. Another thing that helps me is I don't want to start the habit of going out just to get a sweet. Actually I also remember that the craving leading up to the sweet is more exciting than the actual eating, and then there is the guilt that starts. If I keep the sweets few and far between I do work them in.
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ladymajky
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Post by ladymajky on Oct 28, 2019 21:22:49 GMT
And she wants us to take this view: Okay, so I ate something I didn’t plan to eat or I ate more than I was supposed to. It was just a mistake, no big deal…I’ll get back on track for the rest of the day. For me, this can be a trap. I can excuse myself every day of the week. "Oopsie! My bad! So sorry. I didn't mean it. I know better. I'll be a good girl now." At some point, I have to accept that actions have consequences. Getting back on plan for the rest of the day doesn't un-eat the unplanned food. I keep coming back to the statements on pp 18 and 19: Every time I eat something I'm not supposed to, it makes it more likely that I'll give in again in the future. It matters every single time. To choose appropriate foods and to use appropriate eating behaviors consistently and permanently, you have to learn how to make permanent changes in your thinking. |
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irisinnia
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Post by irisinnia on Oct 28, 2019 22:28:42 GMT
ladymajky, Love that! And you're right, there is a difference between acknowledging a slip up and excusing problem behavior entirely. You can't go "Oops" all day because if you are, it wasn't really an accident, you let yourself have an excuse to go off plan. However, you can forgive yourself for something unexpected, as long as you (1) acknowledge it, track it, analyze what went wrong and (2) create a plan to not let it happen again.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Oct 29, 2019 0:10:50 GMT
surfgirl, My thoughts exactly. ladymajky, In my WW meetings there is a lot of just get back on plan and they seem to leave out the part where you do the analysis and figure out how to change your behavior. Although a few weeks back the topic was on a process to change things up and do better.
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Post by surfgirl on Oct 30, 2019 22:48:17 GMT
ladymajky , Love that! And you're right, there is a difference between acknowledging a slip up and excusing problem behavior entirely. You can't go "Oops" all day because if you are, it wasn't really an accident, you let yourself have an excuse to go off plan. However, you can forgive yourself for something unexpected, as long as you (1) acknowledge it, track it, analyze what went wrong and (2) create a plan to not let it happen again. So much YES to this part! If one is continuously saying, "oops, oh well, my bad", that's not being On Plan and it's also not having any commitment to losing weight either. This resonated with me because I do go off plan sometimes, but I now compensate for it, which for me is something I never did before, and by compensating when I want something that's not in my daily plan, I stay OP, and I give up something else to compensate, rather than say "oops, oh well" and continue doing whatever I was doing. I think of it as paying for something if you will. If I'm going to excuse a behavior entirely, and cannot or will not face it and address it, then I'm probably not at the behavior change stage where I am ready for even doing a Beck Review. If one is at the excuses stage, then they're in the "This is a problem but it's not really MY problem" stage and that requires a completely different approach that I think isn't even necessarily addressed on a forum like this. Anyway, great comments on this all around!
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