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Post by Jarmstrong on Nov 12, 2019 14:14:30 GMT
Good morning.
This thread is for anyone that has been away from healthy eating, had a gain and is recommitting. We accept all forms of healthy eating here, whatever that means to you. We touch base daily for accountability and to encourage one another. This is a judgment free zone.
We all struggle to get the weight off and keep it off. Sometimes this is a challenge, but we never give up and that is the key. Regardless of our situation or where we are in reaching our goal, we count on talking to each other every day and are blessed to have one another as friends.
Our motto is persistence, not perfection |
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Post by LR63402 on Nov 12, 2019 14:25:24 GMT
Good morning friends.
Jana - thanks for starting us. I'm guessing we're probably posting at the same time. I hope today is a good day for you.
Well it's 25 degrees here just as they promised, the wind chill is 14! Yikes! We have a glazing of ice on the roof, on top of the mailbox and a little in the flower beds, but other than that everything appears to be fine. It rained so much last night, I guess we're lucky that it got into the 60s yesterday, so that the roads stayed warm enough not to freeze up.
Definitely planning to stay in today, except for walking out to get the mail later. Well, maybe I'll do that. Or maybe I'll just text DH to get it when he gets home from work this evening. Generally he would have Tuesdays as a WFH day, but they're having there T.giving luncheon, so he went in for that.
Anyway, not much other news from here. Coffee does taste a little extra good this morning knowing how c-c-c-cold it is outside.
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Post by Jarmstrong on Nov 12, 2019 14:40:29 GMT
Good morning everyone.
Last night I was checking my mom's email because I am trying to keep track of my dad's bills since he has NEVER had to do it. I noticed there were a LOT of messages through her medical portal coming in so I thought I would go in and see if I needed to respond and let whoever was sending the messages know that she had passed away. Her user name and passwords are the same for everything so it wasn't to hard for me to get into her account. This is something I wish I had not done. I ended up going through her test results and found out some things about her hospital stay that I did not know. One being she had gallstones - it was never mentioned to us and I suppose at this point it really doesn't make a difference. Also saw a test result that she had Microvascular ischemic disease - I had to google it but she definitely had all the symptoms of it - and she also had something going on with one of her lungs - probably from the COPD. Anyway - all that is what it is. I made the mistake of looking at some results from her Primary Dr. This is where things get dicey for me. Apparently her primary Dr. told her in March she needed to see a blood Dr. that she was severely anemic. In July he was practically begging her to see a blood Dr. by July.
I didn't go to any of these appointments with her. In March I was still pretty wrapped up with my sister being in the hospital - but in July there is absolutely no reason I couldn't have gone with her to the Dr. This Dr. is my primary Dr. and I could have seen his urgency. I could have insisted she go see the Dr. and maybe we could have started some of the treatment early. I am not sure the final outcome would have been different except maybe she would have been here with us longer and she could have started treatment earlier. I just can't imagine how awful she must have been feeling and none of us knew how sick she was. She never complained. She never said she was in pain and she never let anyone know the urgency that the primary Dr. was pushing on her. DH told me not to look at all that stuff last night but I did - and now I wish I hadn't. The guilt is awful. I moved my DPs here to take care of them, to help them and I failed her. It makes me wonder all those days she was laying in the bed at home with hospice care, if she didn't give up because she knew I couldn't really take care of my dad, after all I didn't do what I should have done for her. She told me in the hospital that she hated to ever ask me for help because I was always so busy. I could have done so much more for her and for them. I would get so frustrated with her - and I should have been more patient.
I am going to call my Employee assistance program today and see if they provide grieve counseling- I don't think this is something I can deal with on my own. |
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Post by LR63402 on Nov 12, 2019 15:58:24 GMT
Oh Jana! Many hugs and much love. As a total outsider, I have to say that it seems your mom made a choice to not tell you what her Doctor was telling her. It seems that if she had wanted to seek alternative/earlier treatment she would have reached out to you. That was her choice. Please do not place blame where there is none. Making yourself a martyr does not help you, your dad or change the outcome. There is nothing to be gained by putting yourself through the wringer here. Perhaps she was afraid that seeking treatments would be prolong suffering. Many people do weigh quality vs. quantity, and make their peace based on that. She made a choice and it was her complete right to do so, no matter what the reasons or the outcome. I love you, so I hope I said this correctly and that you take it in the manner in which it is intended, with all the love and caring that I have.
I think seeking a professional ear is a very good thing for you to do.
When I lost my mom (car accident), she had just dropped off me and DD at our house and was on her way back to her own home (we lived about 4 miles apart). We were with her because we had just picked up DD from half day preschool and had taken her to Hardees for lunch. After lunch she dropped us at my house and then wrecked and died half way between my house and hers. For years, I ran that day through my head a zillion times. What if I hadn't told her that I had promised DD Hardees for lunch and invited her along? What if I had just gone alone to pick DD up like any other normal day? What if I had insisted that she come in and had a cup of coffee or tea, instead of dropping us off and heading back to her house? Would any of that have changed the outcome? It took me years to forgive myself. And I realize now, that was years of blaming myself for an outcome which I really didn't have any control over.
Love you bunches, girl!
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Post by success4susie on Nov 12, 2019 19:57:18 GMT
Hi Everyone...was up early with a headache, but managed to get to the gym, then to LLI for a lecture - stopped at Wegman's (grocery store) on the way home (in the snow), then had to run back out to drop a bag off at the church. DH stayed at LLI for his genealogy class. Our plan was for me to go to ride with a friend to a gathering of women friends at 4:30 and then have DH pick me up and head into the city for a Richmond Pops concert....however, I am re-thinking all of that since it will be sooooo cold and DH's wheel chair metal parts get really cold quickly. We'll see what happens...at least the tickets were free, so if we end up not going, I won't feel badly about spending the money and then not going. Jana...I feel so badly for you. Please listen to Lora's wise words - what a perfect answer. I also got frustrated with my DM - she never wanted us to go out of our way to do anything for her...sounds like your DM. I think about things I could have done differently, but nothing can change that now. Again...everything Lora said rings true. Lora - I made a few changes, and I'm sure you will have to also, but here is the recipe: www.thefreshmarket.com/inspiration/recipe-and-ideas/slow-cooker-coconut-curry-chicken. |
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robinmd
Transcendent Member
Posts: 1,166
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Post by robinmd on Nov 12, 2019 23:04:19 GMT
Hello ROs,
I had my long day yesterday, and off today. I got a LOT done today. I super-cleaned the kitchen, top to bottom, and did a quicker clean-up of the dining room and living room. I am going room by room, and getting ready to paint. I need to buy more paint, when I decide on some colors, but I have some to get started. I also applied to another job today. It is actually a job that is perfect for me, depending on the office, doctors, staff, etc. That is something I won't know until/unless I get an offer, and get in there to see it. It is for a phlebotomist/medical assistant for a retina specialist, with blood draws, lab work, research programs, patient care, assisting the doctors, and lots of other duties that are right up my alley. I actually started my career eons ago, working in a pathology lab, and have also worked for a doctor, running his in-office lab, and doing blood draws, med infusions, and we did a lot of research studies and such. Among all my other jobs along the way! HA! I feel that I bring so much to the table, that I would feel very confident in my salary requirements. My resume is actually perfect for what they want, so we shall see if I get a call.
Jana, I SO feel for what you are going through. Lora is spot on. I still struggle with second guessing...and being a paramedic, I feel that I "should have" done a lot of things differently... I also feel terrible that I didn't realize how little she could do for herself, and how much she struggled with her daily activities, some as simple as feeding herself certain things. I was blind. And she never said anything or asked for help with things, I think partly from her little bit of dementia, and partly because she didn't want to be a "burden", or be any trouble for me... I hate myself sometimes, for my lack of clarity to her needs and limitations. And missing the early signs of her declining health, or maybe even ignoring them out of fear...I have had a hard time processing all of that. Lora is so right about spending all this time wondering about different outcomes, and I feel that maybe it takes away time and happiness from the people we have and love, in our lives right now.... I hope you are able to get the grief counseling sooner rather than later. It will help you with the process. I know that I got letters and notes from Hospice for a full year after Mom passed, and their words and kindness were very helpful sometimes, because they know the stages of grief and have seen so many go through it, and they are very aware of what you are going through, and what you can expect to go through. They also had a pastor who stopped by. I am sending lots of love and hugs your way.
Susie, sounds like a good decision to stay out of the cold and bad weather. I hadn't even thought about how it would affect the wheelchair! The curry recipe sounds SO good... I have really grown to like curry a lot. After getting my kitchen so clean and more organized, I am more motivated to cook, too. I made some no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies today. My aunt had put the recipe on fb, and I hadn't made them in years. I hope they taste as good as they smell!
Well, I am going to go see what I can put together for a little dinner, and figure out what I am going to do for lunch tomorrow. I might not be back here until tomorrow. I hope everyone has a good evening... and Happy Hump Day tomorrow!
RobinMD
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Post by success4susie on Nov 13, 2019 4:16:05 GMT
Well, the snow stopped about 3:00 and believe it or not, the sun came out. It was very cold, but I ended up meeting my friends and DH and I went to the Pops concert - a salute to the military - awesome. We didn't get home til 10:00 or so and DH got into bed ASAP - it was a long day for him...since he left the house by about 8:30 this morning (all day sitting in the wheel chair except when he was driving the car).
Robin - keeping my fingers crossed for one of those jobs for which you recently applied!
As for the coconut curry recipe... I used Thai Red Curry Sauce (from Trader Joe's) since I had it on hand and added some coconut oil. I also put the cooked rice into the crock pot also.
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