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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 3, 2020 0:00:16 GMT
Monday, 08/03
Day 34 Solve Problems
The first step in solving a problem is to identify the problem and in some cases the “real” problem. I don’t know about you but sometimes things are amiss and we need to do some mental and emotional sorting to get to the bottom of things.
Side note: Do you have any suggestions for figuring out the problem.
Beck says that once you’ve decided what the problem is to identify the negative thoughts running through your mind and use to Seven Question Technique to respond to your negative thoughts.
Seven Question Technique:
1. What kind of thinking error could I be making?
2. What evidence is there that this thought might not be true (or not completely true)?
3. Is there an alternative explanation or another way of viewing this?
4. What is the most realistic outcome of this decision?
5. What is the effect of my believing this thought and what could be the effect of changing my thinking?
6. What would I tell a (close friend or family member) if he/she were in this situation and had this thought?
7. What should I do now?
Beck cautions that you can’t solve every problem but while you might not be able to solve a problem you can change you attitude and outlook.
We covered a lot of this on Day27 when we discussed the Seven Question Technique.
How do you go about solving problems/working through things?
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 3, 2020 0:00:47 GMT
I talk myself though things. This works best if I'm somewhat a good mood and don't have to slug it out with distorted thinking. Often if I'm upset I distract myself for a while until I'm in a better place. I don't normally turn to the 7 Question Technique although it has worked on diet related situations. As for finding the real problems I usually don't delve too deep but now that I'm practicing meditations I think I'll be able to delve deeper on things.
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Post by cathygeha on Aug 3, 2020 8:35:01 GMT
Definition of Problem (noun): a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.
My first thought was that there are many problems around us that we can't or are incapable of fixing. I known the economy, government, covid-19 pandemic and some other issues are outside of my realm of realistically fixing. I can, however, work on more personal things in my own life that might crop up as problems.
Problems:
* Economic impact on MY home/life: Instead of buying imported goods we buy local and rely on produce from the garden. We have stopped buying imported goods that are four times more expensive. We are economizing where we can. * Health/Diet/Etc: I focus on what I can do...I exercise, eat a balanced healthy diet, work on getting back to goal weight, socialize online instead of in person, read, stay active in a variety of ways * Not being able to travel to see family: interact through the internet face to face weekly on Skype (or more) and through WhatsApp and email.
* A product not available in the market due to import problems: find a substitution.
The seven step thing is something I would probably use more for this review and to really analyze a BIG problem but if the solar water heater or generator or something else like that goes kaput...I tend ot rely on my husband...
Anyway...eager to read what the rest of you have to offer!
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Post by luvvinlife on Aug 3, 2020 12:58:58 GMT
In 2007 we relocated from NYC to a rural section of a resort town of Pa., 90 minutes away from the city. In 2013 we retired. I was at goal and physically fit. It didn’t take long before my haven began to feel more like prison. Boredom and isolation lead to depression. Eating, drinking and less activity lead to weight gain. Most of my friends were still working and I didn’t have many new friends where we live. No family nearby. WW was the only support still available to me. I voiced my frustration with the scale and bbbearsmom, suggested I try the BBR. Beck’s 7 question technique helped me realize that there were a few issues that had nothing to do with food, that needed to be addressed so that an appropriate solution could be applied. It took a few reviews before I got the hang of it. At this point I can talk myself off the ledge and away from the excesses, most of the time. I’m still working at it. |
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ladymajky
Transcendent Member
220/169/150
Posts: 871 
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Post by ladymajky on Aug 3, 2020 14:17:20 GMT
5. What is the effect of my believing this thought and what could be the effect of changing my thinking?
My dad was a pastor, a counselor, a chaplain, an educator, and a father of teenage girls. He had a lot to say on this subject, especially to the older, emotionally dramatic, teenage girl (me).
He explained over and over that events in and of themselves are not "good" or "bad." Events just are. An event might be horrible, awful, end-of-the-world to me, but to someone else that same event might be wonderful, over-the-moon, and just what was prayed for. It was my reaction to the event that caused me to label it as "bad." So: was I capable of empathy? Could I see how someone else might not hold the same view that I did? Could I find an aspect of the event that was not-bad for me? Could I be an adult instead of an emotionally dramatic teenager?
Sometimes yes. Sometimes no. Fifty years later, still a work in progress.
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Post by lani on Aug 3, 2020 15:57:36 GMT
ladymajky, wow, your dad was ahead of his time! Or maybe this is common thinking with spiritual leaders. I tend to analysis paralysis, so I try to get away from the problem and let ideas/solutions or acceptance come to me.
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lizlor
Transcendent Member
Posts: 1,159
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Post by lizlor on Aug 3, 2020 16:08:19 GMT
My incremental weight gain over the years has come on in the form of using a number of excuses for not doing the work to keep it off. BBR has really helped me focus on the task at hand with a workable solution...and yet sabotaging thoughts creep in. This time around, my husband is joining me and has been extremely helpful in meal planning and monitoring. So I feel in a better place. Except, I find myself still using an excuse, providing senior care for my mom, who lives in an apartment downstairs, as my sabotaging thought for why I should be allowed to veer off plan. In reality, I have plenty of care for her, and mostly cover just some afternoons and evenings, yet the responsibility feels crushing at times because she is unable to live independently.
Seven Question Technique:
1. What kind of thinking error could I be making?
1) I think I need to use food or drink in the moment to handle the immediate tasks of caring for my mom.
2) I don’t want to be a caregiver.
2. What evidence is there that this thought might not be true (or not completely true)?
1) what I eat has nothing to do with caregiving duties. I’m not hungry and don’t need to eat to literally just do a few relatively simple tasks.
2) in fact, I’m an excellent caregiver and am doing a good job managing her care.
3. Is there an alternative explanation or another way of viewing this?
I need to handle her problems separately from my own and not combine the two.
4. What is the most realistic outcome of this decision?
I face all problems more thoughtfully and reach my own goals while helping her.
5. What is the effect of my believing this thought and what could be the effect of changing my thinking?
A realistic and positive mental attitude will allow me to realize dieting my goals and continue to treat her with the care she deserves.
6. What would I tell a (close friend or family member) if he/she were in this situation and had this thought?
Caregiving is tough, and it just gets tougher. But, you need to care for yourself first and always. Remind yourself of this ever day.
7. What should I do now?
Get back on track. Follow BBR and focus on myself first so I can continue to contribute to my family’s needs in a positive and loving way.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 3, 2020 16:25:07 GMT
lizlor, Thanks for sharing. Your post was a good read. Good for you for taking care of your mom.
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Post by surfgirl on Aug 3, 2020 19:03:37 GMT
How do you go about solving problems/working through things? I a bona fide catastrophist, whatever it is, my mind immediately and seemingly automatically goes right to the most catastrophic result. This has always been me, but my husband's heart attack exacerbated this to the point where I needed counseling to move forward. Interestingly, my therapist uses the 7 Question Technique with me for non-weight related issues. I think that's because she practices CBT, and Beck's father was one of the founders of the CBT approach to therapy, so I know it's an important and proven approach to solving 'wrong thinking' because it's used in so many instances.
Relating this to weight loss, I think it's been easier to use these questions because when I stop BSing myself and get real with myself, I KNOW that what I have to do is actually quite simple. I need to track/weigh daily, exercise at least 5 days a week, and stay OP. That's all I need to do, and it's not really that much is it? So for me, the 7 questions just clarifies why I need to exercise my resistance muscle when I'm about to go off plan.
Oh, NEWS UPDATE: My new Pilates Springboard is installed in my home as of yesterday and I did my first 30 min workout on it yesterday just to test it out. Today I'll do a full 45 min workout with the Balanced Body streaming class, but suffice to say that this is the most exciting thing to happen to me, exercise-wise, in, like, EVER! I love this thing! It feels sooooo good to be able to stretch in ways I cannot without the support of the springs!
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 3, 2020 20:52:30 GMT
surfgirl, That is an amazing piece of equipment, enjoy your workouts.
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Post by surfgirl on Aug 3, 2020 23:45:23 GMT
surfgirl , That is an amazing piece of equipment, enjoy your workouts. Thanks Judy! It is an amazing piece of equipment. Almost anything I can do on a reformer, I can do on this, and it lives on a wall behind my bedroom door so it's out of the way, but man, it's hugely versatile! |
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Post by cathygeha on Aug 4, 2020 6:47:15 GMT
lizlor, Thank you for sharing.
My mother came to visit me in Lebanon before she died. My brother and his family came with her, dropped her off, they went home and she stayed for five or so months before I traveled back to the USA with her and took her back to my brother's home. I am sure they enjoyed the break but mom had chronic leukemia and lymphoma, thought we would be entertaining-going to the embassy-visiting-shoppint-etc BUT it was summer and we didn't do those things.
It was great to have her here as my husband would travel to work every week and return on weekends so I had mom BUT having mom put additional responsibility on my shoulders and...well...I gained ten or twenty pounds in the time she was here.
I understand.
I applaud you for doing what you did yesterday with the questions and looking at the situation. Hoping it will give you helpful insisght and a way faorward.
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Post by lani on Aug 4, 2020 15:27:05 GMT
lizlor, I admire and respect you for what you are doing for your mom. 
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