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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 30, 2020 23:55:37 GMT
Monday, 08/31
Thinking Mistake #7: Unhelpful Rules
You mandate actions without taking circumstances into consideration.
"I can't waste food"
"I can't inconvenience my family by cooking healthier meals or getting the junk food out of the house."
Do you have any rules for yourself that may be holding you back?
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 30, 2020 23:56:03 GMT
I have trouble throwing away food even if it is a little bit.
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Post by cathygeha on Aug 31, 2020 6:21:53 GMT
I went googling to get more information on this and the two links below had interesting information we probably have already covered and they made me think of at home and the shoulds and should nots of the school, church, etc... * Forbidden: alcohol, meat, dancing, not dating till 16, etc
Looking at the idea of helpful and unhelpful...I don't think I have unhelpful rules in place but will take another look later and see if the unhelpful can be reframed/reworded to be made helpful.
Helpful rules are realistic, flexible, and adaptable, and they enable us to function healthily and safely Unhelpful rules are usually unrealistic, unreasonable, excessive, rigid, and unadaptable
Esteem---07---Adjusting-Rules-and-Assumptions.pdf L
Here is a list of some of the words you must look out for:
Should…
Always…
Never…
I must…
I can’t…
If I don’t… then…
I should never…
I must… or else…
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Post by luvvinlife on Aug 31, 2020 13:59:25 GMT
The rules that taught me to overeat :
Finish your food (including food you don’t like) and then you can ask for seconds
Don’t waste food :Encouraged me to eat beyond the point where my hunger is satisfied
You must clean your plate or you cannot have dessert .
It’s taken me a long time to rid myself of these rules but I have, for the most part. I still find it difficult to throw away a mouthful or 2 left on my plate when It’s not enough to save for another meal.
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Post by lani on Aug 31, 2020 15:57:12 GMT
I don't have any regarding food. I still tend toward thinking I have to do things, if not perfectly, at least competently, and then getting mad at myself for not being able to, and then getting mad at myself for being stupidly hard on myself. Hard to avoid beating yourself up when it's been your go to attitude for so long.  |
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Post by bbbearsmom on Aug 31, 2020 17:06:25 GMT
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Post by surfgirl on Aug 31, 2020 18:26:03 GMT
I don't necessarily think there are unhelpful rules or words per se, I think that if one reacts negatively to a rule or word they need to look within and ask themselves why they are reacting negatively to those things because the answer is usually an issue they have, and it's too easy to blame a rule or word without then having to deal with your own stuff (ie: my 'getting real with your own bullshit' post in my review week!).
For example, I must always track my food and exercise because if I don't, I know that I will slide backwards, regain the weight, and never reach my goal - tracking is not optional, it's something I have to do, every day. I can't just not track because then I have no idea when I'm really overeating, so it's a mandatory practice for me, and I will likely always have to do this, for life.
The bolded words are from Cathy's post, and I wanted to show that why I don't believe words are the problem. WE are our own problem when it comes to weight loss and maintenance. So if I have an issue with 'I must always do this or that', then I need to look at WHY I'm reacting negatively to that because it's my own bullshit getting in the way of my success. Which circles back to why losing weight is like 95% mental and the rest is physical or whatever you want to call it. In my opinion, of course...!
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