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Post by bbbearsmom on Dec 26, 2016 3:27:48 GMT
Monday, 12/26
Thinking Mistake #6: Mind Reading
You're sure of what others are thinking, even in the absence of compelling data.
"People will think I am strange if I don't drink alcohol at the party."
"She'll think I'm rude if I don't try the brownies she baked."
Do you mind read?
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Post by jamescat1 on Dec 26, 2016 4:30:12 GMT
I try not to mind read or worry about what others think. Lots of people don't drink alcohol at a party and for various reasons many are careful about what they eat. The photo is of the real jamescat when he was very young. DH would take his photo every January with an orange from one of our two orange trees. He passed away in 2013.
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Post by keshet51 on Dec 26, 2016 11:41:34 GMT
Hi, I was wondering if I can join you all. I just bought, and am working with, the new Beck book that she wrote with her daughter. I had bought the old ones several years ago (the book and workbook) but ended up throwing them out because I just wasn't ready, wasn't willing to do the work involved. Now I am and I realize if I don't change how my brain works, I'm going to continue doing the same behaviors that have gotten me into the food mess for the past 5 decades.
Can I join you? How does the group work and can I use the book I have? Thanks.
And in answer to the question today, yes, I have been known to mind read and I try to challenge this each and every time I head down that road. I'm a social worker and one day a supervisor said something to me I'll never forget - he said that I was so busy thinking I was being empathic with my clients that I wasn't asking them to actually tell me what they thought or felt, just assumed I knew. I hate when people do that to me and realized I was doing that that to them. I have found that if we truly are convinced that what we're doing is the right thing for us, no one can persuade us otherwise. I'm a nondrinker, have never liked it, so the pressure others might exert on me in social situations had zero impact on me. I realize I can transfer that same attitude into food situations. It's only where I'm waffling or on the fence anyway that I worry about what others might be thinking about my food habits.
andi
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msu91
Epic Member
Colleen
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Post by msu91 on Dec 26, 2016 11:52:42 GMT
Not worried too much anymore about what others think of me. The other fact is that people I share food with on a routine basis are pretty much in the same mind frame around what they consume, which means very little pressure to eat something to please the hosts. This one is not an issue, thank goodness.
Welcome, Andi.
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squid
Transcendent Member
Posts: 976
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Post by squid on Dec 26, 2016 14:09:00 GMT
((((Jamescat))))
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Post by lani on Dec 26, 2016 14:31:31 GMT
I have come to the realization that I am my harshest critic. Most everyone I know is kind and wishes me well, and is quite non-judgmental.
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Post by linda72 on Dec 26, 2016 14:33:12 GMT
jamescat1 Audrey, what a precious little kitty. I'm sure you miss him. Love the picture with the orange. I'm better than I was when I was younger on the mind reading. I still have people ask me how much longer I'll be eating healthy (as if that is something I should stop doing!) but I really don't care. Sometimes DH acts disappointed when I don't want to have a glass of wine with him. I like wine but I don't like drinking my points so I don't do it as often as I did. But, he doesn't pressure me.
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Post by bbbearsmom on Dec 26, 2016 17:09:22 GMT
Audrey: Great picture of Jamescat. Cute idea about the picture with the orange. When I was growing up in California we had an orange tree, and apricot tree, and an avocado tree in the back yard.
Andi: Welcome to the group. We use the old book and do reviews three times a year. We just finished one and will start the next one at the end of February. When we do those there usually is enough posted each day that you could follow and contribute to the discussion. With your new book feel free to ask any questions and to share what you are reading for discussion even on the days that have topics.
We have topics M, W, & F, Tuesday is weekly goal and me-time day, Thursday is menu day, Saturday is open, and Sunday is "give ourselves credit" day.
Also good point about us thinking we know what the other person is saying and feeling when we haven't actually listened to what they have to say.
I do mind-reading, have caught myself doing it, other times I don't care what people think. The only place I get comments about my eating is at my volunteer job. Some people will comment if I don't eat the goodies.
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ladymajky
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Post by ladymajky on Dec 26, 2016 20:52:16 GMT
Welcome, Andi. That's a good point about self-awareness. Our brains create more walls around ourselves than others create around us.
I do mind-reading. But it's more in the inner insecure adolescent mode. I want to fit in and be like the others, so I want to do what the others are doing so they think I'm like them. If they are eating, then I want to be eating to be like them. That's why I have to shout out loud I AM A THIN PERSON. I'm trying to be confident in my own identity.
Back on track today. So far today I've followed my menu plan exactly. DH dug into the freezer and unearthed some See's Chocolate that was hidden in there. He set it out on the kitchen counter to thaw, but I told him to take it away to another room and not let it rest in my sight anymore.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Dec 26, 2016 21:26:12 GMT
Welcome,Andi.
jamescat1,Such a cute cat.I know you miss him.I hope you are enjoying your getaway.
At one time I was into mind reading.I seemed to don't care anymore about what others think about what I'm eating.I don't normally hear comments on what I'm eating.It's more on the line of when are you going to stop losing weight and after the last few days with the IBS and sodium retention I don't seem to have that problem b/c like most people there was a little scale creep over the holidays and I didn't even overeat.
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Post by linda72 on Dec 26, 2016 22:16:39 GMT
keshet51 Welcome, Andi! ladymajky I also need to "hide" the sweets. Seeing them sitting on the kitchen counter makes it too easy to "take a little bite". Just putting them in a cabinet (or the empty oven) works well for me so that I forget they are there. Good luck!
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Post by doordie50 on Dec 27, 2016 0:21:30 GMT
I have come to the realization that I am my harshest critic. Most everyone I know is kind and wishes me well, and is quite non-judgmental. I too am my own worst critic. I don't struggle too much with the mind reading Welcome Andi! |
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Post by bbbearsmom on Dec 27, 2016 0:57:30 GMT
This afternoon my chocolate went into the freezer. It is still calling me but the sound is fading.
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Post by jamescat1 on Dec 27, 2016 3:16:37 GMT
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Tammy
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Post by Tammy on Dec 27, 2016 4:29:22 GMT
I do mind reading.
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