irisinnia
Transcendent Member
233/211/160
Posts: 1,222
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Post by irisinnia on Aug 2, 2022 1:57:52 GMT
This is a monthly thread for those of us who have a lot of weight to lose. The definition of “a lot” is something that is determined personally, so everyone who feels they have a lot of weight to lose is welcome to post here.
Please join us in offering support, checking in for accountability, help with questions, etc. We’re in this for the long haul.
We’d also love to hear from those of you who are maintaining a large loss. We need those tips to help us to keep the weight off once we lose it.
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irisinnia
Transcendent Member
233/211/160
Posts: 1,222
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Post by irisinnia on Aug 2, 2022 2:09:38 GMT
Hey, I hope no one minds me starting this month's thread but I didn't know where else to go to talk about this. I was walking to pick up my daughter from dance class, the glass door opened and I saw a very large woman who must've been a mom I'd never seen. Except as I got closer I realized it was my reflection. I have some severe body dysmorphia. I had no idea I looked that bad. I'm kind of horrified. I went for a 30 minute walk because this needs to stop and I need to start somewhere, but I'm terrified of waking up tomorrow and being... I don't know... numb again? How do I do this? How do I make sure I wake up and don't flick the autopilot switch back on? I'm sorry, I just don't have anyone to talk to about this.
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Post by cj59 on Aug 2, 2022 19:41:46 GMT
Hi irisinnia - Thanks for starting the monthly thread, I'm happy you did and that you posted. I can completely understand what you are saying and feeling - I go through the same thing. I saw a picture of myself from back in May and was shocked that was how I looked. I thought I was so much smaller Good for you going on the walk, give yourself credit for that I so wish I could give you some wisdom or advice, but I'm right where you are. I'm desperate to get this weight off again, it's affecting my health. But just can't seem to get started or figure out what to do. I know how to lose weight but feel like what is the point of doing it again (after so many other times) and then not keeping it off. I just wish I could find a way to eat that wasn't so much work. It seems like all I do is think about food when I'm trying to lose weight - with all the planning and tracking, etc. It wears me out. And I dread the thought of all the hard work it's going to take again. I've thought about pulling out my Beck Diet Solution book and going through that again - but it is also a lot of work. I guess I need to accept that it's going to be hard work to lose weight no matter what I choose to do. I hope you will keep coming here to post so we can support each other and hopefully each of us can find our way forward to losing weight and keeping it off If anyone else is checking in, I'd sure love your thoughts on this and to hear how you are doing
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irisinnia
Transcendent Member
233/211/160
Posts: 1,222
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Post by irisinnia on Aug 3, 2022 12:37:39 GMT
[mention]cj59 [/mention] Thank you so much for everything you wrote. It means a lot to know I am not alone. I will be checking in much more often. I need people that understand and I really appreciate you for that.
I want to get the ball rolling on this. I feel like I’m taking crazy pills when I think about how much I want to get the weight off and then how that thought disappears when I get hungry/crave something/stress out. I reach for food with barely a flicker of recognition for what I’m doing. I don’t know how to make that part of my brain turn on, but maybe planning the days meals in the morning would be helpful. Then I might just do what I’m told instead of accidentally eating myself into oblivion.
This just can’t go on. I need a normal weight. I don’t even expect goal at this point, just something where I don’t look like I’m bursting out of my clothing and skin. I’m used to being pretty positive about my body so this feels like I’m somehow betraying myself by talking this way. But it’s too late to play games. I can’t dance around this anymore. I can’t wait for the perfect time or for inspiration to strike. I need to harness this miserable feeling and let it propel me forward.
At least I think I do. This doesn’t feel like last time, though in a way it does. I definitely remember feeling sad when I started my first and only successful journey, but that was also desperation and hopelessness, this one is filled with the sting of regret. Regret that I didn’t get right back on track 7 years ago. The time wasted. The momentum lost. I’m scared to sit in this pain but I’m scared to leave it. I want change.
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Post by cj59 on Aug 3, 2022 23:19:44 GMT
Hi irisinnia - I hope that you can use these feelings to get you motivated to lose weight. We all have to find whatever it is that does it for us I can really relate to your feelings after being successful at weight loss and then gaining it back. I think I've lost and regained over 100 pounds about 6 times in my adult life. And then there were other times I lost less than that and gained it back - just last year I lost 40 pounds and have gained it back. I am just disgusted with myself that I've lost over 600 pounds and gained it all back. When I think of all the hard work I did all those times to lose weight and then it's all just lost, it's very depressing. I really hoped the last time I lost a lot of weight a few years ago and kept it off for over a year (the longest time for me) that I had control of food, but I let it take control of me again. I'm at a point where I think the only way I could be successful at losing weight and keeping it off is if there was no food in my house and my food for the day was brought to me each day. I just don't know how to not emotionally eat (and overeat). I look at all the programs out there, but don't know which one is the one that will help me with my specific problems - which are definitely more mental than physical. If I could find the "magic" program that would work for me for the rest of my life, I'd sure be happy. I'm so tired of not feeling like a "normal" person Wishing you the best of luck with your journey I really do believe we can all be successful at weight loss and keeping it off, it will not be easy, but it will be worth it.
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irisinnia
Transcendent Member
233/211/160
Posts: 1,222
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Post by irisinnia on Aug 4, 2022 0:50:00 GMT
cj59, Words cannot begin to express how grateful I am for you sharing all these thoughts with me and supporting me in this rough time. I know what you're saying about finding that 'magic' program. Sometimes I see other people just eating and I wonder, how? Why can't I simply notice that I've eaten enough and stop like they do and have that be my life? And the dream of having the food delivered is me too. I go farther and say can I just stop eating all together? Quit, like an alcoholic? But food has to happen and so it is a battle. I noticed in your last post you mentioned the Beck Diet Solution. I was posting/following the Beck Board here before my day of reckoning (day 34 and not an ounce down) and I'm still lurking over there, but I need to make sure I go through that book again once the review is over. I have not been nearly as successful as you, but my success is tied to that mind game. And since the mind is a tricky thing I'm walking on eggshells this time. Technically, I was "On Plan" yesterday and today, but I can't let myself get complacent. I feel like I'm in a two day weight loss bubble, and if anything bumps into me I'll pop or the slightest breeze will throw me off course. All plans work if you work them, but I have to push through this fear, pain, and regret first. I'm simultaneously sad for all the food I've eaten and all the food I won't get to eat if I lose weight again. Does that make me crazy? I hope you find your magic program and have all the luck you need to reach your goals and stay there. You're right about this not being easy, but I agree it will be worth it. *Waves to everyone that's going to pop in at some point and see my mental breakdown*
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Post by cj59 on Aug 4, 2022 21:16:26 GMT
Hi irisinnia - I'm so glad we've both been posting and sharing these feelings/thoughts. I'm grateful to you too and I'm glad if I can support you in any way I have often said food is an addiction for me. I have used it to mask and deal with my emotions and feelings since I was a child in elementary school (and I'm retired now so that's a long time ). I've also told family that sometimes I wish my addiction had been cigarettes or alcohol because at least I could completely put them out of my life. But like you said, we have to have food each day. I'm glad you've had a few good days On Plan and hope that motivates you to continue I remember the last time I went to Weight Watchers in 2009. I really didn't want to go, but a friend wanted me to go with her. So I reluctantly did go and after a few weeks it became a habit and I was really successful on that Momentum program from 2009-2010. It just shows me that working towards making things a habit can help. I wish us both the best in this journey and anyone else that is here reading
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Post by sunrose49 on Aug 5, 2022 11:46:38 GMT
Good morning
Irisinnia, thanks for our august start!! It’s so good to see you. Thanks for sharing your feelings.
Cj59, thanks for sharing your feelings.
I’m off to my ww meeting. I’ll be back later. Just wanted to let you both know I’m in the same boat
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irisinnia
Transcendent Member
233/211/160
Posts: 1,222
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Post by irisinnia on Aug 5, 2022 14:08:23 GMT
Hi cj59 and sunrose49 ! sunrose49, Enjoy your meeting! I'm glad you're in the same boat with us (even though this a terrible boat to be in, so sorry)! cj59, Food is definitely misused by me for my emotions. I started getting 'fat' in 1st grade so I'm a lifer. I also sometimes wish for the cigarettes or alcohol, heck even heavy drugs, go to an expensive rehab and come out clean, but there's no such thing as quitting or coming clean from food, I'll always be dirty and a user. lol I think what you said about making things a habit by doing them even when you're not feeling like it or 'ready' is so true. I don't know what the magic ingredient is from not doing it to doing it, but I'm going to force myself to make as many good decisions as possible. Unfortunately, yesterday, I decided to eat some pie. Everything up to that was good choices, I've been doing really well overall this week. So, I guess it fit into my weeklies, but I'm still disappointed in myself because I need progress more than flexibility at this point. Maybe that's a bad way to think about it. On plan is on plan, whether I'm eating weeklies or not. I used to eat all my weeklies and still lose weight, but this time I'm scared of quitting. I need success, not only because my body desperately needs it, but because my mind and heart desperately need it to keep going. I'm having a low point breakfast this morning because we might have to eat out for lunch, but I feel like I'll be okay as long as I don't overeat. Just dodging landmines. Official WI tomorrow. Thank you all for being here! Good luck today!
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Post by wwlurker on Aug 5, 2022 14:24:08 GMT
Hello! It's been a while. Just popping in to say hello. I hope you are all doing well. I have not tried to lose weight in a couple of years at this point. I guess you could say that I've finally broken up with dieting. I would still love to be in a smaller body (and enjoy the privileges that come with that), but I no longer tie the size of my body to my self worth. I was doing more harm than good by trying to restrict my eating. It's interesting, though, when I'm going through a particularly stressful or anxious time, I feel the pull towards dieting again (I think that even explains why I ended up back here). It's so tempting but now I recognize that it's just my way to trying to feel like I'm in control of something. My weight has been surprisingly steady over the past couple of years. I would love to pay more attention to making sure that I am getting a wide variety of foods and I am eating regularly throughout the day (one of my biggest challenges), and I would also love to figure out a way to fit regular exercise into my daily routine, but I no longer want to do those things to lose weight.
I wish all of you all the best on your respective journeys!
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Post by cj59 on Aug 6, 2022 17:03:39 GMT
Hello Everyone sunrose - Hope your meeting went well irisinnia - Hope your weigh-in went well The last time I was on WW and lost a lot of weight I didn't use my weekly points at all. I'm sure my metabolism is so messed up that there is no way I would have lost weight eating that much food each week. I did have some success doing the Wendie plan (rotating higher point and lower point days). wwlurker - It's so nice to hear from you and I'm glad you are doing well. I think you've been very successful to keep your weight steady for several years - that is what I have the hardest time doing. You sound like you are doing well emotionally with caring about yourself and not about what you weigh - I'm happy to hear that Please try to stop in sometimes just to say hello and to let us know you are well. I don't really know what I'm doing, I guess the same as I've been doing for the past year or so I'm sure hoping I can turn things around somehow. I'd like to get on track before fall/autumn, because that is when I love to bake and make holiday foods and I'd like to have some control over those instead of just going crazy. Hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!
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Post by time4me on Aug 7, 2022 2:15:34 GMT
Hi all! Just stopping by to read what's going on, however, my brain is not working well so I kind of skimmed through the posts. I remember the Wendy Plan cj59, I always felt that worked awesome! irisinnia, sunrose49, wwlurker, I hope you're all doing well and I pray this month will be good for all of us! My insurance decided to cover 3 months of the WW Plan and I really don't know if I like it yet. It's only been a bit over a week. It's confusing to me and I have the app that keeps messing up. SMH. I think I do better with something tangible in front of me, like the sliders they used to have back in the day...was the winning points or flex points??? I did somehow lose 5 lbs. but I'm thinking it was a fluke because I weighed myself today and 4 of those lbs were back on. I'm gonna try to check back in more often as I'm committing to this (AGAIN) cuz my last resort is gastric bypass and I'm just not crazy about that idea. Hope you all have an amazing weekend!
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Post by sunrose49 on Aug 7, 2022 10:56:02 GMT
Good morning
Wow great to see all the posts!!
I too skimmed through them. I lost 1.2 Friday at my meeting. If I could just keep it going.
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Post by cj59 on Aug 8, 2022 20:23:45 GMT
Hello Everyone - Hope you are all doing well and that we all have a good week time4me - It's great to see you post and I wish you the best with the new program. Congratulations on your loss and hopefully it wasn't a fluke. I liked the program with the slides too! It was something else and then turned into the Momentum program that is the one I did so well on. sunrose - Congratulations on the loss, I hope you keep it going irisinnia - Hope you are doing well. wwlurker - Hope you'll post again sometime soon. I'm still just kind of going along and at least still making sure to eat some healthy foods each day. Take care everyone!
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Post by time4me on Aug 9, 2022 2:43:37 GMT
sunrose49, Congratulations on the loss...my loss came back I seriously think it has to do with foods I've been eating that I have allergies to. (My list of food allergies is ridiculous, its not possible to avoid all of them ) I'm going to avoid as many as possible this week and see how that works cj59, I like your outlook on trying to eat some healthy foods each day. I need that mindset. Lately my focus is only on data input on the dang app, making sure I don't forget to add anything etc. I miss the old WW days still irisinnia, wwlurker, I'm getting close to catching up on this board. All I know for sure is this isn't easy at all for anyone I guess. I wonder if you all have gone through trying other plans in addition to WW or is it just me? I hope I get to know all of you better in the future and I also hope I don't give up. The way I'm feeling about the plan right now is it's too time consuming and a pain in the butt....I used to do this by writing it down in a small journal and not stressing over inputting everything into the app. I really like the journal idea better. I'm beginning to think I need to really look for my old flex points slider. I know I didn't toss it lol. I'm really just feeling defeated today...I guess I should stop rambling and get some sleep. God bless you all!
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